The interview below has a mention of abuse for any who find themselves triggered by this topic.
It’s been a beautiful and intense week at the farm as a whole tribe of powerful and resilient women have arrived to do the work: inner child healing, womb clearing, sacred magic and more. The fairies have all benefitted from their presence here as we soak up the purifying waters that only the divinity of sisterhood can offer.
I was so blessed to have a moment with a dear sister Dana and she shared with me why the Womban’s Retreat, lovingly held by Vivian, has been so powerful for her.
“As a child I was very sensitive and connected to spirit, but I had a painful upbringing. My father struggled with substances and my mother was living far away. A lot happened, including sexual abuse from someone outside my family, and at 12 I packed a bag and left. I headed to my mom’s house and I decided I would work hard, study hard, and I would commit myself to helping the world. I felt that if I could help the world, I would earn my place. I told myself that it will be ok that I’m alive if I help the world. This was how I would be valuable. But I was helping out of need instead of abundance, and four years ago, it all fell apart. My body became really inflamed, it hurt to walk. I was sick, I had fevers and hair loss and no doctors could tell me why. Mentally I was panicking. I was running from everything and acting erratically. During that painful time is when I discovered Cacao Circles. Through these circles, I realized I’ve been suppressing my spiritual self. I had been suppressing my sensitivity, my receptivity.
I met beautiful bright light Vivian in one of these circles and I had seen her Womban’s Retreats and told myself I would go one day if I could. And for this one, she put out a scholarship. She offered this opportunity where if you wrote an essay about why you want to do this work, she would make it accessible for you. So I wrote an essay and sent it in, and Vivian offered me a spot. It was a blessing. I have a lot of abuse in my family and it was causing menestral problems and issues conceiving, and I really want to have a baby. I also want to help women and children who have also survived sexual abuse, and I knew the first step was to heal myself. So I came here with this intention, to take another step on my path towards helping others by first helping myself.
This retreat has been amazing for this. I now know that the real work is full acceptance of myself over improvement. It’s been hard, but it’s allowing my flaws, to allow myself to be seen as I am. That’s the healing. Through understanding, through deep inner child work, I am finding this acceptance. My journal entries became love letters to myself, reminding myself that I own who I am. I am ready to let myself be seen. I am ready to deal with it all in the light of the day.”
And speaking of sharing her healing, Dana also kindly shared with me her own personal practice for connecting to Mother Earth. She says it isn’t anything she learned from anyone. It is entirely an intuitive practice coming from her heart.
And here at the farm, we believe that’s the most powerful magic of all.
Dana’s Gifting Magic
When I’m in the forest or by a river or ocean, anywhere where’s there is nature, I ask her if she has a gift she would like me to carry. Sometimes I receive gifts for me, or for others, and sometimes it’s a gift from one natural site to another. I’ll receive the gift, air dry it, and carry it with me to take it where it needs to go. I especially love when it’s a gift from one place to another. It’s an offering, a gift Mother Earth is giving herself. When I bring that gift, I bring it as an offering from Her to Her. It reminds me to gift myself in this life. It reminds me that I have earned my place in this world, because I never had to prove anything to be worthy of life’s gifts.